As Acceptance Grows, Gay Synagogues Torn Between the Straight and Narrow

Atlanta - When Gayanne Geurin Weiss and her husband went looking for an Atlanta synagogue to join, they soon found one that had everything they wanted; it was warm, friendly and spiritual. There was just one catch: It was for gay men and lesbians, and Weiss and her husband are straight.

Gay and lesbian Jews had founded Congregation Bet Haverim because they felt that the Jewish world did not want them around. But when families like the Weisses (who are not related to this reporter) came knocking on the door of Bet Haverim, its members had to decide just what kind of synagogue they wanted it to be.

As the mainstream Jewish world has increasingly accepted gay and lesbian Jews, gay-and-lesbian-founded synagogues like Bet Haverim have grappled with questions that go to the core of their identity: How accepting should they be of straight members? Can they accept straight members and still remain distinct? Is there still a future for gay and lesbian synagogues, or will they slowly merge into the mainstream?

Gay and lesbian synagogues first began to appear in the early 1970s, in the wake of the 1969 Stonewall rebellion, which spurred the rise of the gay movement. Feeling unwelcome in mainstream synagogues, and inspired by the founding of gay-friendly churches, Jews in New York and Los Angeles formed congregations of their own. These were to

be “safe spaces” where gay and lesbian Jews could worship in peace, and without disapproval. Over the next decade, congregations followed in other major metropolitan areas, such as Boston, San Francisco, Philadelphia, and Miami. Bet Haverim, founded in 1985, was one of the last congregations to be founded as an exclusively gay and lesbian synagogue.

But even as Bet Haverim was being formed, Jewish attitudes toward gay men and lesbians were undergoing a change. Gay and lesbian synagogues were founded independently of the religious movements and were largely lay-led. The denominations, however, began to take greater interest in the issue of gay rights. In 1984, the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College voted to accept and ordain gay rabbis, and in 1990 the Union for Reform Judaism announced a national policy declaring gay and lesbian Jews to be full and equal members of the religious community. In turn, the URJ said that it would accept predominantly gay synagogues, but only if they were open to all.

See  As Acceptance Grows, Gay Synagogues Torn Between the Straight and Narrow