The sad, instructive story of Ted Haggard

By Jay Bookman

It was major national news when evangelical leader Ted Haggard was outed as gay by a prostitute he had hired. It cost Haggard his job as leader of New Life Church in Colorado Springs; it cost him his friends; it cost him his reputation. He became a subject of national mockery.

The good news is that it didn’t cost him his family.

These days, Haggard and wife and children are living in Arizona, trying to make a go of it. His post-outing life is chronicled in a documentary due to air in January on HBO, and according to stories in the Colorado Springs Gazette (here and here), the film depicts Haggard as still struggling, still troubled.

“As cameras follow him on a job interview, golfing, doing his laundry, moving into a house, selling insurance and dining in a restaurant, Haggard is extremely forthcoming.

He rattles on about his same-sex attraction, bitterness toward New Life, revised view of the Bible (he relates more to the stories of strife and sorrow) and difficulty in his new career as an insurance salesman.

Throughout the film, he swings from self-loathing to self-aggrandizement to self-pity, yet only once does he seem to express real emotion. That occurs as he drives down a lonely highway to make stops to sell insurance. Close to tearing up, the 52-year-old former pastor says, ”At this stage of my life, I am a loser.””

The portrait painted of Haggard is not of a man who has “chosen” to be gay, as some still like to describe it. It is not a “lifestyle” for Haggard; it is part of who he is. As a consequence, he has been cast out into the wilderness by those who profess love and community, and he is bitter about it. (It is important to note that in his earlier life, Haggard himself had participated in spreading the homophobia he now finds aimed in his direction.)

“The church has said go to hell,” Haggard says in the documentary. “The church chose not to forgive me.”

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Atlanta Journal Constitution,  USA - 3 hours ago
By Jay Bookman | Saturday, December 20, 2008, 09:52 AM It was major national news when evangelical leader Ted Haggard was outed as gay by a prostitute he ...
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